Reviewed by Robyn Ludwig

What do Jessica Simpson, Pamela Anderson, and Jennifer Garner all have in common?  Not one of these women deserves to have an acting career.  Especially the latter, who proves with Elektra, the latest in a series of uninspired adaptations from Marvel Comics, that she lacks the talent and charisma to carry a one-hour television show, much less a two-hour action-adventure movie. Garner plays desolate orphan turned sword-wielding contract killer Elektra, who while on sabbatical from her work, receives an assignment to off her handsome next-door neighbour Mark Miller (Goran Visnjic) and his precocious teenage daughter Abby (Kirsten Prout).  In an out-of-character moment of compassion, she refuses the assignment, and inadvertently takes on the responsibility of protecting the two from a mythical sect of warriors with supernatural powers called the Hand.

With a range of facial expressions limited to furrowing her brow, pouting her overstuffed lips, and looking intensely worried, Garner has zero credibility as an ass-kicking martial-arts expert.  Sensing that his lead actor would have problems fleshing out a character with no depth to begin with, Director Rob Bowan tries vainly to add fresh elements to Elektra, giving brief lip service to her battles with chronic insomnia and obsessive-compulsive disorder.  Clearly the lip gloss and collagen budget for this film far outstripped the script development budget.  Repetitive flashbacks and cheesy special effects are used to beef up a storyline more skimpy than that ridiculous red costume, and Bowan is forced to resort to manic editing to cover up for the weak physical abilities of the entire cast.  The only fun to be had in this film is picking out the scenic Vancouver locations, and playing spot-the-local-loser in the cast.  One other caveat: those hoping for a few cheap thrills from leering at Garner will be disappointed with the sight of her flabby body crammed into that shockingly unflattering outfit.  It makes one wonder if she even has the acting chops and screen presence to pull off a thirty-second commercial.